i am so mad at myself right now. i sore up and down that if i moved back home I wouldn't turn into the person who was always worried what her family thinks of her and here i am doing it again and i am miserable. i can't make a single decision in life without worry if someone in my family will disapprove. well guess what, my family will always fucking disapprove.
my brother can't live his life without lying to save face. i am so done with this. i am going to be sixty looking back and hating myself for living a lie and someone elses life.
if i turn into these little negative pricks that cant enjoy anything out of life please kill me and put me out of my misery.