wow....

its been forever since I have written on my livejournal.  i check it maybe once every two or three months but it seems as if everyone has abandoned it.  that's ok.  i need an outlet and i have blogger but i feel that is a front and I am not sure i can do it anymore.  also, there is facebook but i hate hate hate facebook.  the only reason i keep it around is for family members that dont live near us.

first, i am back in louisiana living with my grandparents and this makes me want to scream.  i hate living here and i know they dont want me here but i have to keep in mind it is only for a little while.  i am hoping to go apartment hunting sometime next week.

second, i feel torn and untrue to myself.  i know i need to just be me but it is hard whenever you live your life under a microscope.

third, i really hope to keep up with this even if no one follows me i promise it will be ok...my own little heaven.

Change

I have been thinking of my journal lately. Should i keep it (yes!) and if i do then what do i want out of my jourrnal? One, i want it to reflect me more than it does now. Two, i want to write in it daily. Life happens everyday so why should i not write everything down everyday?! But i am not sure if i'll keep it on lj ( which is by far my favorite) or jump over to blogger. Hmm i'll decide soon.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

garden State

(no subject)

I'm in LA, finally. Feels great.

I'm excited about tomorrow. Seeing everyone. maddax's bday party @ pinnochios.

I'm not excited about DBo being there. so awkward. get your own friends and leave us alone!

ahhhh!


i really do believe i am the ONLY one that updates livejournal anymore. that's ok. i love it.!.

(no subject)

As crazy & messed up things are now, i feel at peace.

i'm so ready for:
a vacation
going to the beach
halloween
christmas
moving to la
living life
  • Current Music
    yellowcard

(no subject)

last night i had an effed up dream. like. seriously.

it starts out i'm outside at my grandparents house. all of a sudden the sky gets completely black and grasshoppers/bugs started falling from the sky. we run inside and i start freaking out saying it was the end of the world.

all of a sudden we are in this room [sorta looks like a library minus tables]. there are several families there but we are divided into our own families. we are praying. everyone is.

me and two other girls start floating to heaven. at this point i figure i'm dying. as we float up we pass through "clouds"[?] of multicolored pastels. I do not want to leave my husband or son but i feel a peace over me and i know he will be ok, taken care of. we float higher and higher.

finally, me and another girl slowly come to a stop. the third girl keeps going to heaven. we are going back to our families. i'm happy but want that peace. before i make it to my family, i wake up in my dream & i'm on my grandparents sofa with everyone around me. seems i had been stung by several bugs and passed out. this is where i woke up.

this is not the first wacked out dream i had. i've been having them several weeks now. like pregnancy dreams. but i'm not.

i need a dream interpretation.
  • Current Mood
    sore sore